JustThink#75



DAY5,12th oct,2022

Weird day yrrr...

Just one more lazzzzzyy day doing almost nothing...

It starts with me watching gamer videos on youtube...old OG youtuber called beastboy shub, watching him since his first 500k subs and still he got the same vibe in his videos...its rare nowadays to see or feel same vibe from someone you know for years...

I mean its cool to not get the same vibe as thats a proof that people are changing and change is good though...BUT you know, I feel some little things should never change...uffff

Did some reading about that mary from my previous blog and some signs to observe in people who envy you but don't let you know...signs like micro-reactions on face whenever you tell them good news, or like poisonous praising which means they praise you for your achievements but in a way that will demotivate you or make you uncomfortable...also one more sign which is very obvious called as back stabbing, bascially bitching on your back with others...

Will read what are the types of enviers and how this natural tedency to feel jealous, anyone can overcome this with some exercises...

Other than reading, youtube binge watching and some help in cleaning for upcoming diwali festive...I did nothing related to my actual work on youtube...

Even when I already have ideas and basic plan for 3 videos, for some reason I just procrastinate it, like I am getting bored but also, I know this is the things I would love to do if I start being consistent...damnnn consistency is tough..

Needed to upload one video once a week but its been 2 weeks after uploading my last video...there is something missing in my mindset which I had a year ago, a reason behind my continuous motivation in learning...maybe I have changed a lot since then...its good till some extent and bad too atleast in terms of my career...

BUT

there is a HOPE, I feel this is also a part of my current phase, I think...I need to go through this time also to actually learn how to deal with it, overthinking about it, stressing about it, its just...sometimes I feel lonely walking on very different path form others...and get a thought that, is it worth it?? I do have some idea to have someone with me walking same path as I do...will see if it works...

Will see what happens but for now its enough for today...atleast I had completed my reading and writing... hehe