JustThink#127

23rd May,2024...05:16pm

Why my expectations are so high from people I am close with?

Maybe its because I am ready to give my more than 100% to them and want them to do the same...but why? why do i need them to consistently validating me, prioritising me all the time over anyone else?

I am scared I guess...

I am scared about the fact that people are going to find better friends than me...better company to have fun with, better comfort to express themselves, better choice without any conditions...I am scared I can be replace anytime for anyone(except for parents ofcourse)

See, I know ye bolna that I am unique in my own way and i should not think like that but that is the reality i am talking about...i do not have personality for whom people would be ready to consistently choose me over anyone else, i feel i am just a person who makes jokes sometime and be a good listener sometime...

But, there are people better than me doing it

Now, I just want very few people to be there...not like talk to me daily, but choose me 

I want stability from relations i am having with my closed ones

Stability means, whatever happens, how many new people comes in their life...enjoy and have good time with them but just, get back to me, choose me, grow with me, share with me...just be loyal.

I am fine with ups and downs in my career, I am with ups and downs while figuring out my health but i do not want any ups and downs in my relations...just be loyal, just be with me, just dont forget me, kitna hi effort lagta hai to stay with me...

The moment people started having a good time with better people, I get scared that how irreplacable I am to them

I am the first one whom people will forget to consider...

I used to get these thoughts a lot few months ago...although i dealt with it well...still once in a while, when i get triggered by something in front of my eyes, or from some experience...i get these thoughts again

Luckily, thoughts aate hai thodi der satate hai fir chale jaate hai...I dont spend full day on it...I am happy otherwise...

Facing the reality is a discomfort but it is must...i wonder, are people really able to deal with facing the reality or they just lie to themselves all the time to avoid it.