JustThink#83




Am I depressed? If NO, then why am I so stressed and thought more than 10 times before writing this blog...and If YES, then what is the point of writing this blog..?


This is the thought of the people experiencing depression have...What is the point of anything in life? Nothing is in my control...

To be honest, even I am having this thought quite often now...what is the actual point of doing, trying, understanding, making efforts, when you cant get what you want in life...

Being in a flow was used to be my tagline for life and now I hate to be in this flow of life...

Nothing is in my control...I am just a person who is available for all to listen, understand their perspective and accept then adjust according to it...BUT no one...literally no single person in this world is ready to do the same for me...

WHY?

Not because they are bad, toxic, wrong or something BUT because they just don't know...they don't feel the need for me...they are not aware of my mental situation...

THEN WHY don't I tell them about my mental situation?

Because if I do then first, they are not going to understand it fully and even if they understand, they start comparing my issues with their life's problems and tell me its not actually a bit deal...

Second, even if they accept it and try to adjust a bit for me...its not reallly natural to them so in short term they will do things for me which might make me get emotionally dependent on them but then in long run, they wont be able to continue it as its not natural to them...


I don't feel any point in sharing anything, expressing anything with anyone...there is no point to it...I do know that by sharing and discussing, I would feel better but then its a temporary solution as problem or root cause is still there...and the solution is not in my hand

Even if the solution is in my hand, then that means I need to double triple down my hardwork and effort for it to get out of this situation...which I can do BUT what is the point?

Even then to I cant have what I want...I cant do things which I want and the things which is in my control, I am not giving my best there too

So, AM I DEPRESSED?